5. May 2026
Neurodiversity - no masking required
Hello everyone and welcome to: The Counselling Room
Neurodiversity is a topic that is being spoken about more openly than ever—across social media, education, workplaces, and within families and friendships.
With that increased awareness has come curiosity, self-discovery, and for many, a deeper understanding of themselves. For others, it has brought questions, uncertainty, and sometimes scepticism.
This blog focuses not on signs, symptoms, or assessments—but on something often overlooked: the emotional experience of neurodiversity, particularly when someone begins to understand themselves differently and shares that with others.
When understanding meets misunderstanding
Many neurodivergent individuals describe a similar experience.
They begin to recognise patterns in themselves—perhaps noticing differences in focus, organisation, social interaction, or emotional responses. Over time, this awareness can lead to self-identification or a formal diagnosis.
With that can come relief.
A sense of “this makes sense now.” An understanding of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that may have felt confusing or isolating. But when this is shared with others, the response is not always what they hoped for.
Some are met with curiosity and support. Others experience scepticism, indifference, or even dismissal. Phrases like “isn’t everyone a bit like that?” or “how neuro are you then?”—even when not intended to harm—can feel minimising. Instead of feeling understood, people can feel questioned, analysed, or unheard. The emotional impact of being dismissed
In the counselling room, clients often speak not just about their neurodivergence, but about the impact of how others respond to it.Imagine gaining the courage to say: “I think this is part of who I am.” Only to be met with disbelief, humour, or indifference. For many, this can feel frustrating, invalidating, and at times deeply upsetting. Because for them, this isn’t just a label—it’s an explanation.
A way of making sense of experiences they may have been navigating for years. “Why have I always felt different?”
Clients often describe long-standing feelings of difference, sometimes without fully understanding why. They might reflect on questions like: Why do I struggle to focus or organise my time? Why do I feel drained after socialising? Why do changes in routine feel overwhelming? Why do I feel like I’m masking who I really am?
These aren’t small or surface-level questions. They are part of someone trying to understand their inner world. When neurodiversity becomes part of that understanding, it can bring clarity, self-awareness, and relief. Which is why dismissive responses can feel so significant. “It’s not a wrong brain—it’s a different operating system”
One way I often support clients in making sense of their experiences is through a simple analogy:
It’s not that your brain is wrong—it may just be operating differently. Think about mobile phones.
Some use one operating system, others use another. Both can: Make calls Send messages Access the internet Run apps
They do the same things—but they don’t work in the same way.
If you’ve ever picked up a phone with a different operating system, you might recognise that moment of confusion: Where do I press? How do I unlock it? Why isn’t this working the way I expect? The phone isn’t faulty. It’s just different from what you’re used to. Understanding each other takes more than assumption Trying to understand neurodiversity without information or openness can feel similar to being handed a completely unfamiliar system and being expected to “just get it.” Without explanation, without curiosity, without patience—it can lead to frustration on both sides.
Understanding doesn’t come from quick comparisons or surface-level observations. It comes from: Willingness to listen openness to learn Respect for someone else’s experience And importantly, recognising that full understanding may not always be possible—but respect always is.
A quiet comparison: unseen experiences
There are many experiences in life that don’t show outwardly but can affect someone deeply—physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
When something cannot be seen, it can sometimes be misunderstood. But unseen does not mean unreal. And difference does not mean less valid. A different way to think about the question “How neuro are you?” can feel like a scale, a comparison, or even a judgment. But perhaps it can also be something else. A starting point for reflection.
A moment of curiosity. A step toward understanding—of yourself or someone else.
Final thoughts
Neurodiversity is not just about traits or diagnosis. t is about lived experience, identity, and understanding how someone moves through the world. For those who are exploring this part of themselves, what often matters most is not being analysed or compared—but being heard, respected, and accepted.
Disclaimer This blog is intended for general reflection and understanding. The views shared are based on my experience in client work and do not represent the views of all professionals. This content is not a substitute for professional advice or therapeutic support.
Want to explore this further? In my podcast, I share deeper reflections on neurodiversity and the experiences many clients bring into the counselling room. Available on Spotify and Apple — links on my website.: No Masking Required
Take care
Lynda Peters (MBACP)
BACP Registration Number 411958
Shropshire West Midlands