17. April 2026

My Journey

A counselling Journey - Why I said no to counselling

My Journey – A Counselling Journey: Why I Said no to counselling

If you’d like to hear more, including my personal reflections and deeper insight into this journey, you can listen to the full version on my Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

My name is Lynda Peters, and I’m the owner and founder of Spread Your Wings Therapy.

You may have seen my posts on Facebook over the last 12 months promoting the benefits and reasons why people choose counselling.

When I first heard the word counselling in 2020, I was going through a really difficult time in my life. When I was first offered counselling, I actually said no. I didn’t want it.

Which… was a big mistake, for me personally.

My internal grief, frustration, injustice, and trauma just kept consuming me. So, in my defiant personality, I thought — ok, no counselling, I’ll join a bereavement group. And if I’m helping other people… then I won’t have to talk about myself.

I was supporting people… but not always in the right way.

I was giving advice, sharing my opinions, comparing their experiences to mine or to what others had said. And actually… that’s not always what people need. I began to realise that people don’t even need you to fully understand. They just need you to listen. To really hear them.

I decided I wanted to do more.

So in 2021 — during lockdown, which made everything harder — I found a basic counselling skills course. Because colleges and schools were closed, I managed to find an online course. It was actually done by post… which for some people sounds very dated now! I think I chose that course as a subconscious way of saying, I’ll find out more… but I’m not sitting in that chair.

I completed it, passed it, and I was honestly amazed at what I learned.

Ok, in truth — I was hooked.

My feedback on the course was: I really know now how to support others without rescuing, giving opinion, or judgment.

But my inner voice still said… yeah, I still couldn’t be the client.

Still, I was hooked, and I knew it. So I decided to do another course — a higher level.

And yes… it’s going where you think.

In 2024, I qualified as a counsellor.

But filling the gap between ooo interesting and wow, I’m qualified was not easy. Because I did have to sit in the chair — even worse, during my training.

I was told the words I’m fine, I’m ok, and I’m just sad were not an option anymore. And believe it or not, I was given a feelings wheel — a colourful circle full of feeling words I felt I could never say.

I discovered more about why I struggle to name and express my feelings. That my trauma can be discussed and felt. That the person I was then is a product of my experiences and learned behaviour — even going back to childhood.

My course gave me valuable insight into the myths and assumptions about supporting others.

Because supporting people isn’t about persuading them. It’s not about giving advice. It’s not about fixing or rescuing. It’s about saying: I’m here. I’m listening. And really meaning that.

Because I realised… listening isn’t just hearing words.

It’s active. It’s noticing body language, facial expressions, tone — all the things that aren’t always said out loud. And for the first time, I didn’t feel pressure to fix anyone.

I didn’t have to be their everything.

Because actually… they are their everything.

What I really learned through all of that is this:

Support isn’t about pulling someone through something. It’s about walking beside them. Giving them space to think, feel, and understand themselves.

And even now, in my private practice, I still find it incredibly powerful — how people can change their lives themselves.

We all have that ability.

It’s just about having the confidence… the tools… and the support to do it.

And that’s what I love about counselling.

Seeing people realise that. Seeing them feel empowered. Seeing them finally say — this is how I feel… and it matters.

And then setting boundaries that reflect the life they want.

Counselling helped me do that too.

Even during my training, I had to have counselling myself. And that was hard. Because I was balancing everything — work, clients, studying — and then having to turn the focus onto me.

And this doesn’t end with a perfectly tied bow and soft music in the background… it’s more like a needle scratch on a record.

Because it’s important to say this:

Counsellors don’t have everything together.

We’re human too.

We still have counselling — not just for things that come up in client work, but for our own lives as well.

Having a space where I can talk freely, without having to explain my whole story again, just focusing on what matters in that moment… and feeling proud that I can now articulate it.

I hope this gives you a little more insight into counselling, and into who I am — not perfect, just someone who knows I am here for myself.

If you’d like to hear more, including my personal reflections and deeper insight into this journey, you can listen to the full version on my Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Disclaimer

This blog is intended for general reflection and understanding. The views shared are based on my experience as an Online Private Practice counsellor. The information shared is not intended to be a substitute for individual counselling or professional advice.

Lynda Peters (MBACP)
BACP Registration Number: 411958
Shropshire | West Midlands

I am a registered member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), which means I follow a recognised ethical framework for good practice. This ensures my work is supported through regular supervision, professional standards, and ongoing training, so your counselling experience is held within a safe, ethical, and professionally guided framework.